Things left undone...

This photo is from our back yard in Alabama, 1991.

I suppose there will always be an empty spot in my heart, one that was originally intended to receive things my family was supposed to fill.  I will never know what might have been.

It is difficult to imagine anything more painful to endure.

I have been through all kinds of pain in recent years.  A heart attack is nothing compared to the years of heartache and regret.  The most painful physical suffering seems little enough to compare.  Yet I cannot spare myself this feeling.  Apparently it is necessary to remind me that there are things left yet undone.

I only hope I am worthy enough to do the job, in the time that is left me.

Why Tribulations?

I have good reason to be seeking answers.

Here are a few I have located...

And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.

And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.

Now the Spirit knoweth all things; nevertheless the Son of God suffereth according to the flesh that he might take upon him the sins of his people, that he might blot out their transgressions according to the power of his deliverance; and now behold, this is the testimony which is in me.  (Alma 7:11-13)

If thou art called to pass through tribulation....if thine enemies fall upon thee; if they tear thee from the society of thy father and mother and brethren and sisters....prowl around thee like wolves for the blood of the lamb; And if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, and the sentence of death passed upon thee;....if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good

The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he?

Therefore, hold on thy way, and the priesthood shall remain with thee; for their bounds are set, they cannot pass. Thy days are known, and thy years shall not be numbered less; therefore, fear not what man can do, for God shall be with you forever and ever.  (Doctrine and Covenants 122:5-8)

Disease, too, afflicts both the innocent and the culpable. It is as big a mistake to blame God for all sickness as it is to blame him for all natural disasters. It is true that some diseases occur because of sinful activities, but most people become ill simply because the mortal body is subject to natural law and is heir to pain, disease, and death.  (A. Lavar Thornock, In Your Time of Crisis)

You can have sacred, revelatory, profoundly instructive experience with the Lord in the most miserable experiences of your life—in the worst settings, while enduring the most painful injustices, when facing the most insurmountable odds and opposition you have ever faced. (Elder Jeffery R. Holland,  Lessons from Liberty Jail)