
Just the simple act of standing up and walking has assumed a somewhat tentative, dubious nature for me. After the most recent stroke, I notice a deficit of natural balance, standing and walking.
Walking doesn't quite seem so spontaneous. I am noting that the beginning motion basically consists of falling, just slightly forward or back. This shifts the center of gravity, and starts a natural rhythm of alternating the feet in sequence to keep on balance.
Well, I am not performing this little dance quite as spontaneously as I would like it to be, these days. The biggest problem I encounter seems to result from a diminished sense of orientation. I cannot tell when my body is inclined to start falling forward, or back, until I actually start moving. It doesn't feel like anything. But I can see when things start to move. (With my eyes shut, I am helplessly lost, and I fall almost immediately, even trying to stay stationary.)
So, often my first step moves my feet, but my upper body is not leaning the right way in anticipation, and I start to fall. Most often, I tip over backwards.
I have usually been able to recover quickly. I guess I have had enough practice, by now. But it is with an uneasy lack of confidence that I navigate, now, carefully. And with excruciating slow pace.
My associates with the Forest Service were often impatient with me because they thought I hiked too slow. They ought to see me now!