Part of my current manic euphoria is the result of some awakening of parts and pieces of my body. It is difficult to describe the sense of exultation am beginning to feel every day, not as a momentary rush, but as an overall sense of security and well-being. Oh, I know my condition remains in God's hands. I could die of a new stroke at any moment in time. But somehow, that doesn't seem important. Right now, this moment, I'm as alive as I can be, more than in the months earlier, and more beyond measure than those days when I just turned my face to the wall, wanting nothing but extinction.
My nerves are coming back to life a;l over my body, so I have started feeling with a new awareness.
My feet, in particular, have surprised me, because it was so unexpected. I have regained full tactile sensation on the soles of both feet. Only the big toe has partially regained some sensation on the left, but it is progressively getting more.
My hands are fully recovered. I can sense thermal differences as well as texture.
My face is also regaining sensation, though the hatband feeling lingers. I can sense that my nose is where it belongs.
In my midsection, there remains a profound lack of sensitivity, and it extends deeper than skin, because I still lack any sense of bowel fullness until the moment is quite urgent. My limitations with urinary bladder control are similarly limited.
I am still having balance and equilibrium compromises, but gaining some confidence there. If I have enough time before another attack of new brain damage, I may post significant progress.
Outlook is very encouraging at the moment.
5 comments:
It just occurred to me that we discussed the issue if figures with anatomically correct gentalia long ago, and decided they were not necessary to us who understand what is implied in such illustrations. To the pure, all things are pure...
Anyway, I rubbed out the vetruvian man's genitalia, because they might offend somebody with too active imagination or something, and it does nothing for me one way or another.
I'm still hoping that Amie reposts her comment, BTW. Amie, don't take offence. I have to enforce my arbitrary rules. Or else people will think I'm not a bigot. I certainly wouldn't want to create an impression like that
You are as my gkids say "too kewl". I am so glad you are feeling again. I hope and pray more comes your way. Sending love and prayers to you and your family.How I envy you for your family spots and all.
Your friend in the internet world Angel
Thank you, Ruth, for all of your sacrifice in getting me to the proper doctors who saved my life and made me better.
Why, certainly, Jim. I would have done anything for you. I don't understand why your recovery has caused the cruel side of you which existed before your strokes to return, but whatever.
Let the Lord judge between thee and me.
And I forgive you.
As to the "Vitruvian Man" thing - I think that the genitalia are included to show that it is a man - an actual man, as opposed to a nebulous, hermaphroditic or asexual being - in an effort to demostrate that it is the male portion of our society who is the measure of all things. We live in a very andro-centric world - from the way buildings are designed (thanks, Michelangelo and all the other old dead dudes) to the phallic shapes of skyscrapers to the fact that most of the Congress are men... "All MEN are created equal..."
I am not making value judgements. Just an observation.
"We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;
And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day."
- Henry V (http://www.chronique.com/Library/Knights/crispen.htm)
wahoo! jim this is some of the better news i could take with me to work today. i'll be floating on cloud nine knowing you're feeling better ... while i'm sitting behind a computer talking people off of cliffs because their TV isn't working (got a new job with dish network, in their customer service department).
you would be truly shocked at how crazy people can get because they've lost their tv signal for a few minutes.
i hate to say it, but secretly i laugh at some of the people that call and scream. >=)
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